all the twitter and the group chats and the facebooking
the constant talking, the snapchat stories, the little reminders
tumblr feeds, news stations, netflix recommendations
they're just mindless noise, fillers, to distract us
from our chronic loneliness, our effervescent sadness
we can't bear to be alone so we ****** ourselves into rooms
of people talking loudly and too much, we ignore
the sad voices within us because maybe if the sounds
get loud enough, they'll drown out whatever it is
that's saying "you're alone, you're not worthy of love"
and most of the time it works. It leaves us numb
so much noise, in fact, that we can't hear much anything else
we lose sight of ourselves. I don't know who the ****
I am without all of that. I don't know who I am in the silence.
Please, don't leave me behind. I've gotten lost. A week
without twitter is like three years without rain for some of us
and we don't know how to survive the drought-
we don't know what it is we're running from, we're
just running, running's a thing we've always done, and
we're scared. Please, don't leave me behind. I'm scared too.
I'm scared of the dark and of isolation, I'm like a little kid
who needs her phone like her mother's hand
because I never learned to live on my own.
Life's a big ******* grocery store and some of us
sit down in the candy aisle, some of us cry,
some of us ask the people in charge to call our mother,
some of us latch onto someone's, anyone's leg.
Don't let me go. Please, don't leave me behind.
I don't know where I am. I don't know how to get home.