I prayed for an hour this morning
I thought about myself
I thought about other people
I thought about how
I keep myself apart

It’s a painful mistake
That leads me to darkness

I want to connect
But we are taught and told
To protect and reject
Things we should fear
People we should not let near

In love we experience closeness
And then separation
We are loved
And then lost

Moments of unity
In our physicality
All too fleeting
And we return to ourselves

We have to grow up
But I find I grow apart
I want to re-connect
Step by step
One conversation at a time
And grow differently

The pain of others suffering
Is sometimes too much to bear
I go numb
At the size and scale of it

So I close my door
And hope it will never happen to me
But without feeling their suffering
I can't do anything to help it
And I detest my numbness
Which becomes my suffering

I prayed for an hour this morning
And I will pray again this afternoon

I saw a friend in the park
He is going to let me visit him this afternoon
Even though I invited myself