Snapping and cracking it moves with a clink
jibbering and jabbering beneath the kitchen sink
It backs up the pipes with stagnant decay
reeking and stinking all through the day
Exhaling self-loathing, skin milky and pale
demoniac from twisted tongue to forked tail
Feasting upon rats it swallows them whole
a creature mischievous, bloodthirsty and cold
He devours Halloweeners, then all their sweets
surprising passing strangers by yanking their feet -
"I'll yoink your tootsies, tickle your toes
then what next, uh oh who knows?!"
Last Christmas it blinded the neighbours so they couldn't see
burnt the decorations and shat under their tree
The poor little children waking up that following dawn
to bits of their grandparents spread across the lawn -
Oh I can't sleep, scared of my own home
sick of being stuck with this thing all on my own
People are dead and my moral passions to blame
my inability to **** has caused all this pain
So tonight when it crawls from its slumber, I'll be there with my gun
Oh come my sweet little demon, let's have some fun!
- The Wingle Wangle Song -
"Wingle Wangle Wyrmtail
Is a wicked little fairy -
bloodshot eyes, a grimy disguise
he doeth not scare me
Wingle Wangle Wyrmtail
Bathes in sweat and cold blood -
Sneaks into homes, steals people's bones
Separates the bad from the good
Wingle Wangle Wyrmtail
Roams all night, sleeps all day -
A blighter joyous and macabre
so happy and gay
Wingle Wangle Wyrmtail
you may dance to all the children's cries -
but beware Wingle Wangle
within a barrel lies your demise."