my hands have been shaking
non stop
for the last year or so
and i am not writing this
because it stopped
it's just changing
like us
and the weather
and the sky
and nothing's changing
for the better
but you see, you kissed me
a year ago
and it wasn't much later
when i found myself in your bed
taking off your shirt
god i wish i remembered more
i just remember my hands shaking
every time you touched me
and so they shook
for six months
then you gave up
and i fell in love
and you'd stay in your room all summer
while i stayed at home
far from 'home'
and then the mornings got cold
like you
and my hands shivered all summer
and through the autumn
cause i was losing weight, and myself,
and you
i remember running my hands through your hair
not that long ago
like it would be the last time
not knowing it was
not knowing that when you told me
"i don't have much time"
you ment us
so now you're where you want to be
and that means not here
and that means gone
and now my hands shake
like the way they probably would
if someone was choking me
and i think it's unsaid words
and our memories
and your long gone kisses
that are wrapped around my neck
and i'd rather it be your hands
the way they used to