i wrote this earlier, when i was feeling alone. i'm not feeling alone anymore, but we'll see how long that lasts.
update 11/25: i feel alone again
update: 12/5: i'm alone, but i don't feel it
update: 12/27 i'm not alone
update: 7/24 i think i brought this on myself
update: 12/13 need to get used to this again