Control.
I've lost control. It feels that way, anyway.

But I'm always in control. Control of my life, my career, my money. My journey.

Im so in control that I don't even realise I'm not, until it hits me. Like an unstoppable force. An insurmountable pressure. A tsunami crashing against my mind, the weight of it almost crushing me.

I let my mind crumble. I succumb to rage, and then stress and then to tears. Feelings, emotions, thoughts flood in. The gates are opened. I feel vulnerable.
I try to weather the storm. After all, My mind has done so a thousand times. Battered, and flogged like a cyclone sweeping through a rural town.

They say there is a calm before the storm. But there is also a calm after it as well. A serenity that follows a catastrophe. A peace.
I'm now at peace. Too exhausted to feel anything else but.

I'm slowly regaining control. Systems returning to normal. Rebuilding from the devastation.

I'm there. I'm back. I'm me again, except for one small difference. It's a thought.

How do I stop this happening again?