I think I'm tired
My body feels restless but my mind is always ignited
I always feel like it's moving from one possibility to the next
Like a shark
If a shark stops swimming it will die
If I stop allowing my mind to turn back and forth I will succumb to my body
I can see my chest rise and fall but I no longer know if anything is alive inside me
You would think that flowers grow in the sunlight but that's not always the case
Some grow in the shade
And I don't want to fall behind
But I no longer know my place
I'm not sure where I stand
I feel like my brain doesn't get enough blood
It's all been rushed to my heart to keep it pumping
To keep it from shattering under the pressure of my chest
I cut because of something you said
It made my heart hurt
I felt it stutter and stop for a second
You still control so much of me
Do not call me strong
I had to prove her wrong
I had to not keep her words in my gut
I had to get them out
I can't tell anyone
They all think I've stopped
So this is our little secret and everything will be okay
Everything will be okay
Will be okay
Will be okay
Will be okay
You can't make yourself not feel
Even emptiness is something that's felt
You can feel the air inside you where your organs used to be
You can feel your soul flouting around in you
Tell me you don't feel that
Even when I feel empty I can feel your words being the only dense matter inside me
And when I try to let go it just breaks up into pieces refusing to vacate
And all I do is just breathe
Not fully aware that you are still so very much alive in me
I was hoping you would have died months ago
I can see my chest rise and fall
But I know I'm just bringing in air
Air that pushes you around
All the blood goes to my heart because it's trying to fix what you destroyed
Flowers can't survive a hail storm