Moving forward
"Onward & Upward"
I plan and I plot
Coffee spilling out of my lungs
As my heart aches with what once was
I know you must,
In your boy filled cocoon
Miss and long for me too.

"Its been so weird."
You said, I will never forget
Or stop replaying the look in your
Hazel eyes
The love won and lost.

We wanted so much
We planned so much
We hoped for so much
As my filthy hands longed to hold us together
We fell apart like shattered skeletons
But you assured me time will heal and mend.

I'm just so glad
My words, my thoughts, my art
Could speak to you for the final time
I imagine we will come face to face
Our hearts both pounding and echoing
Our friends surrounding us
While I dodge the blame of men around me
There was no world in which
You morphed into the man
I need and long for.

Showing up, airplane
You skateboarded past me
But truth be told,
I never intended for such depth
But I don't regret it
And I can't keep it
But I like ME, better
Without you.

The sky looks so sad today
As if still recooping from the loss of sunshine
I thought the world of you
But I never really saw you
Until you wronged me
But it was much too late.

"You didn't turn out to be who I thought you were."
What a painful and heart breaking phrase
But I copy and paste
Authenticity
Sleeping in another mans bed
Here and there
But I hesitate to give myself away
Because I know I can pleasure me

Mamas always got something to say
But your caliber was not quite
In line with mine
But I spit and frolic
My hands lifted into the sky
Free, the noose around my beak
I let it fly free in the wind.

Because right now
I'm all I need.