Even in the brightest light,
The shadow lurked,
Never leaving,
Always a step behind.
A constant presence
That needed to be faced head on,
But the thought of even looking at it,
Sent chills down my spine.
I try to forget,
And sometimes I do,
But at the worst possible moments
It rears its ugly head,
Leaving me shaking on the floor,
Gasping for air.
With it,
Unwanted thoughts slither and crawl
Across my body,
Across my mind,
Taking control.
To forget it,
Is to forgive,
And to forgive,
Is to let go.
But to let go of something so big,
Makes pain.
And it is so much easier to pretend.
To pretend that the shadow is not
Lurking behind.