Ive noticed i always try to get close to an animal. To bond with them so they will never have to feel alone. Sadly i give up just before and i cant tell if that shows who i am as a person or who i use to be. I try so hard to get close to someone to make it finally last a lifetime but always give up when theres nothing left of me to give. id rather be hooked up to a lie detector test to finally realize if i can truly feel more than depression. I would like to know if every i love you  ive ever whispered on unwilling naive ears were ever true or if i simply was telling them what they wanted to hear. I dont want to be that person who tears apart every person i have ever kissed. Im afraid to be alone and im starting to think thats what pushes me into the relationships ive been in rather than falling in love. Love. It always comes back to that whether in the poems we recite with all our hearts or the stories behind the scars. I dont know if ive honestly felt love, true overwhelmingly undying love but i know i have come so close to it. Where i could feel the stars in every embrace and every kiss was like a volcanic eruption. So when i tell you im scared dont brush it off like the time you broke that picture frame and told yourself it didnt matter anyways. I am not some object but im learning to love or maybe pretending to. I will never be ready for committment but i still try everyday