Why?
Why?
The timing is all wrong.
You should have left me nine plus years ago,
When I didn't know who I was.
If I was straight
Or gay
Or just me.
You should have left me when I found comfort in the arms of tragedy
And alcohol.
Men and women.
Downward spiraling to
Self destruction.
Yet you waited
You waited to tare me down
And make me feel every ounce of pain that I put you through.
Not in actions
But words are far worse.
Because you told me that you love me
And made me believe it
And your arms were the only ones I wanted
But it took me years to truly open myself up to you.
To break down all of the walls I put up
To stop subconsciously destroying Myself
Destroying you in the process.
Not knowing that the whole time
You were the one who was going to inevitably destroy me.
Nine years.
And all the smiles
And tears
And ****** up words
And break ups
And make ups
And above all,
Love.
After all that ******* feeling
Poured into three words.
After I fully gave
My entire self
My entire being
To you.
You woke up one day
And decided
That you just don't love me
Anymore.
And I broke into
A million little pieces
And in every piece
I wonder
If you ever
Ever even
Loved me
At all.