your gaze rests upon my shoulder
like a black hole
sinking me into an oblivion
where only our two heartbeats
will be heard

I fear to look up

please, stay.
while I keep my heart at distance.

the nuclear energy flashing
in your eyes,
the places on my neck
that rate on fire
where your lips could ravish,
the edge-of-combustion feeling
inside of me when I see you…

this contagion of desire
that sinks into the skin above my heart
is a garden I don’t dare stroll into
for fear I might find I desperately need
a life filled with only our laughter

I don’t want you to live inside
of me like a secret wind
with all the loneliness of a leaf
in the forest
who is denied love through the dark green spaces
that it forever remains

where sunlight has forgotten it
and its unreachable happiness is
a sadness that moans and
pushes its solitudes
deeply into the root of its tree
and where loneliness is a desperate cry
after it has been torn from its anchor

love is a dying hope where
my heart can lie restless
like the leaf farthest from the stars

so, please not too close

your nuclear eyes
are a bargaining chip I can’t afford
as they stir my soul into
an endless dance
of wanting and hope
the source of possible pain
where I could find myself offering
my soul in wholeness

a death for life
simply to light a fire
on my shoulders from your mouth
where my skin turns into
a newborn star
a flash of radiance that
awakens the universe

your touch could, quite possibly,
be a never ending
creation of universe within universe
a collision of existence
like life itself blown apart
where the end of the universe is
where two dormant hearts awaken
and cause life to recreate itself

distance…
my black night that asks
the moon for her light

you make me want to love,
or die, or leave

and this confusion stirs
in the pit of my stomach
like a stone in the darkest place
of the ocean

so I break away
from your gaze
and fade back into the shadows
where my heart talks to the stars once again
to dream of a nuclear kiss
that I may never have the courage to accept
for my heart cannot afford
another death