I don't know which hurts more..
The silence.. Or the attack..
I mean the silence is scary.. Because it makes me feel like you've given up on me.. Completely.
Like I've disappointed you to a point where no matter how hurtful or full of anger the words may be, they can't fulfill the void that I created in you..
Then there's the attack.
Your word against mine.
Each word becomes a noose around my throat enabling my capabilities to speak..
So I give you silence..
Except my silence is my surrender.
My "You're right"
My silence is my disappointment in myself..
And then there's another attack.
Rather than send you my bullets, they behave as a boomerang..
Because once again I have failed..
Why is it that in these battles I am always left speechless?
I am left with emotions that I can't verbally explain
Maybe because I never had to.. Maybe because I don't want to.. Or maybe because I simply do not know how..
I know my silence hurts you ..
But trust me.. It hurts me more.