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Nov 2011
And exactly when everything was beginning to feel right,
Little pieces started to shatter off, unreachable, uncontainable
Indulging themselves with quick ways and smooth ways
Overwhelmed by yells and infested with thoughts of forget me not’s
Recognizable thoughts seep in and out of the brain waves
Some comforting, some riveting to remember and I ask them for more
And I stood by as the pain swelled and left a mark enough to tell
I want to run to you and cry to you, I would, and wish you’d hold me still
But you told me not to enter any kind of that into my mind
I cry out at night, and remember that I’m probably the last thing there
Too tired to sleep and too lonely to eat, I’ll die like this soon
G4910, I have not taken one since Tuesday… of last month
Bed sheets wet, I drowned them with my tears, the tears of fears.
Pillow cases black enough to be bruised, they journey on with me
The sounds of silence frighten me and cause me to tremble
A slight sadness, but out comes a breath of fresh air
Past, present, future, for which am I living for?
Past mistakes, messing up, and almost tragic endings, and good at the same
With laughter and cheer, kisses that were sincere, I had safety in the comfort
Present goods, with slipping in faults, mostly good times only bad when alone
Living life with and for things that I couldn’t possibly imagine before
Future times, so empty, an open canvas for me to explore, for me to design
But where am I going, who is coming with me and who will cut themselves out?
All unknowns, but they all feel right, and they all feel wrong
All uncertain and certain in their own particular ways, and my mind strays
Julie Watson
Written by
Julie Watson
628
 
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