How many times
Can I wish to hate you?
The stories in the music
Have never felt so real.
Blinded by laughter,
I know I’m not alright.
But keep me from envisioning
For the rest of my life.
Let me drown tonight.
Into the beats that play,
Into the sleep that consumes,
Into the changing life
That is swirling and becoming mine.
Better at this and more of that.
Just let me close my eyes
And cry tonight.
Comfort, compassion,
What is it really?
I just want to curl up and have
Someone be by my side.
Everything is so different,
But I’m the one who walked here.
Old times, loud cheers,
And for what?
I rest with one hand on my heart
And the other on the pillow.
Who am I?
And where am I going?
Is what I thought was real?
Or is this what growing up is;
Fading away from childish dreams.
From hopes that were happening.
Hot flash with a freezing bite.
Daydreams and night dreams.
If I flew across to find you,
Would you come out and see me?
Goodbye little girl, who wanted the world.
Welcome risky business.
Move to the beat and get lost right now.
One thing I wish is for the feelings
And the memories to not fall down too far.