Here we go again.
I’m sitting here,
Thinking about you,
Reading notes from a year ago
And I can’t help but think about it.
How it all went down hill
I can’t even remember.
You said you never wanted anything to change
And I know I never did either.
But somewhere along the line it did,
And I’m sorry that it was probably my fault.
Things usually are.
I just wanted to let you know that I’m still here.
You weren’t just someone I was with.
You were someone I loved.
You’re someone I still love.
You were my best friend.
I know I’ve said it to you before,
But I see it clearly now.
You were all I needed every day to be happy.
I miss seeing my boy every single day.
My mind is so scattered.
I can’t remember if this is what I wanted,
Or thought I wanted,
Or if it’s all just one big mistake that
I don’t know how to get myself out of.
I see you in the hallways once in a while.
You smile, I smile, and every time I tell myself,
“Yep. I love him.”
But if I do, and it feels like I do,
Then why did it end in the first place?
What went wrong?
When did we start all the fighting and
Bickering about the stupidest things?
Maybe your mind is clearer than mine.
Maybe you remember exactly what happened
And know that this arrangement is for the best.
Maybe this is what you want.
But since you weren’t just someone I loved,
Would you still be my best friend?
I always seem to lose mine.