Maybe I’m not as special as I thought I was…

I had always known… or thought
That I was actually pretty,
I thought I was smart,
I thought I was talented,
I thought I was different.

But you, and you, and you,
Have helped to prove it to me,
I am invisible.

This girl is pathetic.
I tried to go on, tried to be happy.
I knew deep down that these efforts wouldn’t work.
And guess what?
I was right.

I thought if I just kept telling myself,
“You’re beautiful”,
Then I would actually believe it,
Have more confidence in myself,
And in return, other people would see it too.
Wrong.

I thought if I just kept practicing,
Working my *** off every day,
Teaching myself how to get the right tune,
Or keeping up when I got frustrated-
I thought I could excel at something,
Anything?
Nothing.

I wanted to believe that I was something different.
I did believe it,
But when no one else can see what I see,
What’s the point?

Answer: There is none.
Answer: You’re not special.

I’ve grown to hate my life even more.
Hard to believe.