i was so peacefully apathetic once
that i managed to get a chemistry degree
and started loving manual labour,
but then humanity of a spontaneous act of stupidity
constricted my chest
and left me without a definite vector to unload my affection,
leaving me on debility benefits of the state
that started to turn to the lord peerage anonymity
of skinny budgets,
and i was left drinking walking the same streets in circles
wishing my apathy had returned
and the substance that so mummified my thought in couches
with ease.
i feel for those who ache like budgies in cages of emotion so early in life,
wishing to sing and flutter away to hawaii,
but i just don’t have it in me to be so pain-crushed from a life un-lived,
to feel so much but live so little...
if i’m supposed to feel so much and live so little
i rather live remembering my former apathy that nearly conjured
a hindu avatar in full bloom... but as avatars go... shiva’s avatar is
hard to tame... it’s destructive power is a bullish potency to create,
and once it starts charging there’s only the red light district of amsterdam to stop it.