The moment my eyes locked with his green depths, I wept.
I tried to hide my instant reaction to my extreme attraction but a fraction of a quiver coated my speech as I reached,
inconspicuously, to smooth out my jeans.

Sweat gleamed on my skin as the room started to spin beneath my feet.
I took a seat across from him, careful not to sit too close,
for I didn't want him to know how fast
my heart was beating beneath my clothes.

Woah, a spark started humming in my tummy, strumming a chord
that cut into my heart as deep as a double edged sword.
Breathy air bequeathed from my teeth as I held my ground.
Soundless beads of sweat zig zagged down my brow.

I frowned, "This is delusional", I thought to myself.
How many times have I been duped into thinking that
I could be even an inkling of what a man like him
dreams of and wants in a girl.

My churlish attitude certainly isn't intriguing.
I'm blight with below average height.
Freckles invade every inch of my skin.
Sinful words escape my lips as common as the air I breathe.
I seethe with anger, as if second nature.
I bicker with my sisters.
My hair is thin and flaccid.
I'm plastered with fake smiles
and encased in pallid, pale skin that sits grimly on my bones.
Groans are constantly escaping my throat as I complain.
I'm a grain of the being I once dreamt I could be.
I reek of desperation for some love or attention
that I've been seeking for since my contraception.

Yet, I still foolishly yearn for his mutual attraction.
There's an insolent fraction of hope that invades my heart and
fogs my smarts, blurring the truth.
**** my indiscretion is showing my youth.

So I do what I do best, I hide myself behind my wall.
I stall real conversation with humor, almost in a drunken stupor
I act as if I have nothing to offer.
For my offer is inadequate even to the loveless romantic.

I'm not a cynic, I'm a realist and realistically
I'm informed on the fact that I'm whacked in the mind
and my dissatisfying outer appearance does
little to make up for my complete unrefined kind.

So I grind away any chemistry I felt.
I've dealt with this before so I continue to implore myself
to forget his sea green stare, before I wear out my words
describing his full, pink lips that are rounded and firm.

Remember your place, you stupid, silly girl.
Hurl those sweet, tempting thoughts away for they are wrong.
You belong on the wall, holed up in the corner like swine,
to make way for those who are really meant to shine.