i am afraid of darkness but
the night has always been my friend
half asleep during the day
i feel the most alive when everyone else is sleeping
like my mind cannot function among so many others
and my soul uncrumples now it's given space
it folds out into a vast array of colours
and among them i can see memories that have become pieces of me
and shaped my being. there is
your lavender touch when we were
riding high among the clouds and i felt space was getting smaller
and pastel blue tears from when the waves drug me to the ground
it's funny how this works
how what i fear irrationally makes up my only refuge
how while i feel the darkness creeping in
and i fear every corner and the whole world outside my bed
the night still gives me comfort and a reassurance of myself
in the darkness things become clearer
like the absence of light sheds light upon them
maybe that is how feelings work
maybe that is why at night i feel the most in love with you


cs