i knew it was coming,
but i didn't know it would be this soon.
only this morning in the gray lazy sky,
i was thinking-
what if you stopped caring for me?

what if you moved on??

what if you forgot about me??

i couldn't imagine a life without you,
although i could see it coming.
impending nights never fail to  be tardy.
i could feel your vibes, i could sense that you stopped caring.

but i refused to believe.

maybe i thought about it beforehand so i would learn how to cope with it.

but maybe thinking about it before made the heartburn sting more.
because it hurts.

when you confessed, i didn't feel pain.
i knew i was supposed to,
but the truth hadn't sank in.

only when i sat in silence, drifting into space-
then
i realized
that you were gone,
fully gone,
gone from my grasp.

and i couldn't stop the tears from rolling down,
tearing up my glasses,
my soul crying with me.
my heart crying out from its pain,
my mind wanting to release itself from its torture,
but in struggling-
trying to free itself-
it made the burn bigger,
pain larger.

maybe i hadn't loved you as much as the other.
but it still hurt.
no,
it still hurts.
i will never get over the pain,
because in my belief,
you cannot fall out of love.

if you stop loving,
it wasn't love at all in the first place.

that's what i believe.

but then again,
i believed,
i told myself,
that you would never leave.

yet you did,
leaving me alone with my dark thoughts and beasts.