I'm trying to find solace in silence
Making loneliness my confidant.
I'm stuck between two good things
And I've never felt more like I want nothing.
The woman who I've been secretly calling mom in my head.
The woman who made the bitter motherless boy into a man, has died
The woman well, the girl, the person whom I know would rather I not call her woman.
The person who loves me without needing to, needs me.
And I can't muster the strength to reach out.
My introverted mess of being is sinking in on itself.
Everyone knows I was a suicidal wreck.
No one knows that I'm getting worse.
No one sees that I've been writing suicide notes again.
I'm obligated to leave now
I'm leaning towards staying.
I'm a dead end kid.
I'm a dead end kid.
I'm ******* hopeless
I'm sick of putting others before my selfish suicidal Thoughts.
I want to play like my predecessors and swing from a tree by my ******* throat.