to the one I love hold me tighter when the weight of all that is absent spreads my ribs- creating to much space inside me falling hallow on my empty bones. the sound of your voice bouncing inside my empty head -sweet tone- bouncing inside this vacancy all this space they occupied in my genome in my past in the deep hollow recesses of my feeling. barricade deep in my youngest memories.
resonating still inside me pulling me forward and back from within myself, it is far to little to say I am missing them. I finally understand the emptiness they used to show me in there eyes. I finally understand the brokenness they showed in their smiles,
leave it to the eager eyes of a child the intuition of a poet to truly unravel - how ribs actually become cages. only I do not have the key Maya Angelou gripped in her teeth- I do not posses the pen Emily Dickinson freed feathers with - I only know the horrible sound birds make when slowly smothered- I only know the feeling of watching birds of my feather drop from the top of wide open hearts - to the bottom of cold black cages.
I say this with memories passed down from wring worn hands- holding open my wings with warm gales spoken from the wide popsicle grins of my grandfather- who showed me the courage it takes to hold onto innocence. to feel outside the barrier of my own skin. he held me up my rib cage to the sky to remind me, the only thing between my bird and open air is myself. I have no key I have no real words worth ink I only have the remembrance of wings beating rapidly from trapped places trying desperately- to show me what flying might feel like.
I hold the memories of the most perfect songs thrumming in my feeling I am just a mockingbird remembering the sound of old heart beats remembering the courage it takes to live outside myself lest I become my own cage when I have not yet a single key not yet any real memory made loud enough to clear my thoughts of the horrible sounds of birds fighting against black cages
I want to taste the sky my grandfather held me to . I want you the one who loves me to be safe so I may venture outside myself without fear. let me make my way inside your chest and nest there- free to explore the vast recesses of your feeling maybe- there somewhere buried you, the one I love have the key to free this hope deep inside me. maybe you the one I love are my open skies- because when you really see me- that is the only time I can look inside at all this empty space and feel free of all the lonely in these memories.
you the one I love can tell Angelou I too know why the caged bird sings- And ,you, my open skies - are why this caged bird does so sweetly- cry.