Nearly twenty years ago
I can't believe time flies
When all I had upon my mind
Was thoughts of getting high

I never understood my mom
Popping pills at tea
or How my grandpa polished
off a case a day, no, three

Not wanting to become insane
or Die diseased so early
I decided at a legal age
To smoke the ****, for surely

of All the places in the states
Just one said do it legally
I packed my bags and set out for
Mendocino County

I took my time, such a long ride
on 80 from New Jersey
Enjoyed the sights but, flew no kite
Still, made my travels worthy

The California National Guard
and the DEA
Set up a post to check all cars
in/out of the county

It took a couple hours then
For them to inspect me
I must admit here that this greet
Did make me feel uneasy

They made it very clear to me
That I could smoke' the ****
Just don't try to take it out
of Mendocino County

I said "Okay!"  They said "Drive Safe"
I buckled ; drove away
I drove along the two-lane road
Admittedly Amazed

I turned a corner , hit the brakes
There was in front of me
A farmer man, who did tell me
Get out, you have to learn the ****

I abided easily
to learn most all or everything
I could so one day I could be
An expert in Weedology

I spent nearly a week or two
Finding out all that I could
But, I was high and this did lead
to some info misunderstood

I learned cultivation, irrigation
debugging plants by spraying pepper
Planting, pruning, a beginner
But, after time, I did get better

Then one day after a cup
of morning Bhang, I did awake
Then moseyed on to brighter pastures
****** alone, I was quite baked

Would you believe ; I can't believe
A girl I knew from New Jersey
A ***** from Hawthorne she despised me
This feeling was so mutually

After I escaped her grip
And fed her some more bitter lip
I took my bag, it was a lid
and slowly rolled another spliff

I found a house to my amaze
It said "For Rent" read in my haze
I paid the rent/security
Pulled out a blunt, began to blaze

There was no time that I remember
From months of May through to September
That I wasn't high all day
I knew I had to move away

****, (the grass) grown everywhere
Just pick some off, feel better, there
No one left out of the haze
Everybody there did blaze

I got so bored, I was so teased
Stop it!  Stop it!  Stop it, please!
I can't be ****** all' of the time
Oh, shut up and smoke more of this ****

I could not take it anymore
I closed the house and shut the door
All the smoke I once adored
Soon became all such a bore

I packed my bags and said goodbye
To all my stoner friends still high
I headed north to Oregon
To grow tomatoes, seemed like fun

Twenty years now have been spent
Remembering those cronies
Those mendacious merchant mendicants
of Mendocino County