her voice
told me we were friends
she'll make me better
happier

she said
she is the only one who cares
she loves me

i have to listen to her
she'll make me perfect

fat pig she says
useless she says
but she loves me
so i'll listen

start out small
cut back
no more than 1000 calories

it'll get harder
she says this isn't enough

500 calories
400 calories
300
200

calories control me
as much as her voice does

1 pound
2 pounds
3 pounds
lost

more she says
stop completely
walk away
become beautiful

people say an apple a day keeps the doctor away
i have to live by that

weeks
months
they pass

thin
bones
beautiful

but i can't see
she told me it'll be okay
but i can't see

passing out
fainting
falling
death

feeding tubes
IVs
medication

she says this is what she planned for
i'll be perfect once i'm dead

because at death
i will be my thinnest

so i smile
as she tells me my pulse
is fading