I broke my vow.
In the eyes of my God
I failed.
I waited.
28 years.
For someone to come.
The one.
For my love.
I broke my vow.
Impulsive.
Oh my reckless heart.
I was lost in the lust of it all
A stranger.
Less than 48 hours.
Lessons you learn
Flashbacks that burn
Two days of bliss
A Forbidden wish
Bruised lips
Your scent left on my pillow.
The sound of your heartbeat
Your arms on my arms.
I never experienced this.
Watching you sleep
Regret sweeps deep within me.
Mine for a moment in time
You're not even aware.
I want you. Not you exactly.
I want this. But did I want this night?
And every moment that passed
I knew it wouldn't last
A stranger in my bed.
A fantasy you played
In my head.
I wanted it to be love
with the one I love.
But, This isn't real love.
Now tomorrow came
No take backs
Just a mess of my bed
And my head
But the mutter
The clutter of thoughts
They cleared.
I can breathe again
I can feel again
I am me again.
I already miss the feeling
The anticipation of your arrival
The stir in my stomach
The aroma of your perfume
It's haunting me.
Everywhere.
You were here.
The proof of your kiss on my lips
Of a body next to my body
A presence occupying
The lonely space
For so long
My heart was
Just a lonely place
What do you mean
When you said
You miss me?
Don't tease me.
Even you rejected me.
Left me neglected.
Tempted and emptied.
Is this what it feels like.
That's what I waited for?
Humanity
they can't all be
Just like me.
When I saw you last
I knew it would be
The last time
Selfishly I wanted to say
As I watched you walk away
Please don't go.
I don't want to be alone
Not because I wanted you
But because The loneliness
is leaving me spiraling
No longer the tightest bud
My petals strewn about
I left my mark
And you left yours too
Piece of me
For a piece of you
The stupid things we do
To learn
To find truth
Harsh as it may
I ask
Please don't judge me.
Lord above me, please forgive me.