You know what i'm tired of?
I'm tired of mental abuse..
No one understands, cause no one ever sees.. There a no visible scars, no proof, and no one has seen.
I am a target of angry outbursts and sarcasm.
It piles up on me, day after day, month after month.
"You just wanna make me look bad!" He tells me
"You brought it on yourself" he laughs
"I treat you like you deserve to be treated!"
"For a smart person you're really dumb"
"Your friends will start to hate you"
And when i say i've had enough..
"You make me madder than anyone ever has!"
"You're such a liar!"
"You're so fucking selfish! You think the world revolves around you"
"That's not what you said, did or felt."
"You just try to make me look bad"
"I didn't attack you! Your mind is really messed up for thinking that"
"You are welcome to leave at any point. There's the door"
-i'm sorry daddy-
"I have your best interests at heart, if you would just listen to me more.."
"I can't stand to look at you right now.."
"You'll never change"
-yes daddy-
When my brother asks me why i'm crying
"Your sister is crying cause she knows she did something wrong"
-i'm sorry i dropped the cup of coffe on the floor-
"You've got to be fucking kidding me!"
"You will be the death of me!"
"You had to mess things up again didn't you?"
-sorry Daddy-
"Too late, i'm done with you never thinking!.."
"This is all your fault!"
I hate how i can't do something without instantly thinking -was that okay?-
"How dare you eat that taco without asking!"
"You just keep pishing my buttons!"
"This is YOUR issue!"
"You can't do anything right!"
"You need to be careful in how you respond to me"
But the ones that hurt the most..
"The house is peacefull when you're gone"
"We can't sleep when we know you'll be home soon"
"You'll never change"
I try my best.. And i can't just leave, cause i still love him.