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Feb 2010
HAVE YOU EVER;
Listen to the sound of his heart beating,
Ba bump Ba bump Ba bump...ETC,  

A rhythm you can get use to, Have you ever;  looked deep into his eye's
and lost yourself,  Ever felt his touch and ya body just melts,
Ever listen to his voice and your heart vibrates,
you turn 10 shades of red when caught staring at his lips,


Ever laid with him and never wanted it to end,
The physical out weighted the mental..,
Ever  felt filled and complete, not knowing if this was it,
The end to your loneliness..,  

I think of Him often&I; don't mean to, Ever have a conversation that leaves you questioning  what's life really worth,  Even thou your on ya way to greatness his presences is blessing Yet cursing  since your falling apart,  His essences is treasured,  His words manifested into you like breathing.., You come out of a dream state,Longing;  wishing&waiting;,   The next time it wont be like this,  You think;You got to get a grip and let time heal this blessed wound,He create a monster yup honey its me...,  

Ever want to be near him yet you know you can't,
Ever wanted to hold on to him and give all you had,
take care of him..,  Like no other can, Thoughts of him fill your head and,  take up your time,  Ever been at work and he popped up in your mind,  Thoughts of the last time he was in your bed,
Is this lust?    Is it love,  To want to let him be free if that's what makes him happy,  

To want the best for him yet you want to be next to him..,  To want more for him  even if it isn't you he's getting  it on with but there's so much more to give,your not ready for this..,    Yet some how as confused as you are,
You want to be his number 1 star  (his Fan all wrapped up in 1),   Even if it's not you He's been missing,  Wishing,

Wondering if your even what he needs,   Doubting the beauty you shared was it real or was it again another dream,  Perfection in the art form of Man (HIM)  The man you think you want, You know you had him but let him go,  Not In the sad way just closed the chapter and went ahead to the end.

I want to start the page's over and began anew again,  Take HIM on a journey to explore the possibility's,
We could of been & BE-A you and me,   Scared to take that leap but wanting too so badly.., Have you even EVER been where I am,  Have you even or ever seen what I see, I'm hurting for release and the only freedom  I get is letting you be,Funny..,  

Alone but not lonely kind of a malevolence dream,   maybe..., Have you ever; felt like me?   Felt like this, Am I to give in as my body did, HIS touch and the way HE makes me feel it's unreal,  Like a painting the artist has made & built me up to greatness like I did him  but now he's so high up, I can't even reach him,  I can't touch this beautiful art form  Know as MAN..,  His struggles..,  I can some times relate to  but to do like him and give  Unconditionally,  I would if only I knew,  The pain I see him in sometimes got me wondering...,  

Questioning myself,  Shouldn't I let him love me as best he can, I can't   Confusions setting in.   Been thinking of him again.
******..,  The strength in him I want to conjure&concur; it.., Make him weep with joy, I have to let go release my burden and let him go..,But is he the burden,  Not really, Not to me,   it's the pain of knowing him as my lover&friend;, I want more yet His hurt isn't healing, His pains are raw & deep, I can give all that he wanted but whats gonna happen to me.., I might suffer greatly if I let him in,

This struggles for this man wont end & I can't be what he wants I can only be me,   But as much as he like and loves me for me is that what it really is I question again not only myself but this  thing that I'm in, with him.., I'm right for him but I'm not, Have you ever felt like this?   Dealt with it and owned up to it,  I'm a woman trapped in his web yet there's no other place I rather be, I ask you lust or love;  Have you ever been this confused ?   Yeah me too Cuz nothing I'm saying is making sense well I think only to me it is ...,   Ladies, Fellas.....,
Have you Ever?
Always Me Ayeshah
Copyright © Ayeshah K.C.L.N 1977-Present YEAR(s)
All right reserved
Ayeshah
Written by
Ayeshah  F/I'M ILLUSIVELY"HERE"
(F/I'M ILLUSIVELY"HERE")   
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