JOYLESS

I held on through your jealousy and fear

your deep insecurities and I held you near

I survived the conversations about the terrible what if’s

silly girls in beach jeans and all the fights and tiffs

all I wanted was a piece of the movie star dream

beauty and money like you only see on the screen

I thought I could cheat the universe if I truly believed

thought if I built us an island you’d never leave

I sat with you and listened to the stories you’ve never told

held your hand and said to go out and be bold

I tried with all of the strength in this body to inspire you

bragged about your glow and hoped you know I desire only you

I can’t hand you happiness or I’d send it to your shore in bottles

I can’t stop your pains or slow the hurt when you push the throttle

there are no more ways for me to prove what I already have

no ways for me to glue back together the two of us you’ve halved

I can’t undrink the bottles or unyell the words or light the dim rooms

there’s no way for me to bake the cake with a wax bride and groom

now I’m slipping into the darkness where you tucked us away

and I’ve run out of words to say because you’re about to throw us away

I’m about to lose my love to the same person that said it would always stay

I crumple and I tarnish because you’re about to throw us away

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