Most times I think I did something wrong
As I pretend to sleep
I only focus on
the shallow breaths that hold me
I am hollow.
Eyes closed as my teeth grind
Helpless, I am
And careless, you
When you're not around
I pick specs of you off the ground
Like a fiend
And what's left of you now
Staggering into the memories
when I know they'll float away
like sailboats and getaways
Piece by piece
Into the skyline
grey and weak
But clean and porous
The waste, the mess
And I’m keeping this
you and my collapsed lungs
Ill treasure my bleeding soul
As if I couldn’t feel anything
Anything at all
They’re all keepsakes
To remind me of
Cruel You and earth and
the cold universe
And it’s buckets and baggage
Ill lie underneath just to catch
Raindrops of grief
And glass slivers of rue
And they drown
And they stick me
And I’m empty and I’m bare
But I’m full of you
And your bastardly hopes
Up to the brim, I’m spilling out
But could you please spare me,
At least,
A poor excuse for a vacuous
Clenching, desperate mettle