I went back to feel what it was like to be me.
I went back to know I had no reason to feel guilty.
I went back to quench my betrayal.
I went back to make peace with my being.

Yet...
Now, I am unsure.
I am blessed to have been given this body;
This body that can move with grace,
Touch those she loves with praise,
And move swiftly without stumbling.

Then why am I trembling?

I fell in love.
Not just with one person.
I fell in love with the life I used to have.
And still, I couldn't get myself to stay there.

Was it fear?
Was it a sense of obligation or duty?
Did I really come back to resent those I'd wasted so much time on?

I have so many questions... and so few answers.

Why do we make it so complicated for ourselves when it doesn't have to be... Why did I change, when I loved the person I was? I don't want to mirror my past but I don't like what I see staring back at me either.

I just want to be me.
Why can't the voices in my head leave me alone?