Matt had just finished reading the letter Eve wrote him. As always she said she loved him and forgave him among other things. Though he wasn't sure he believed her anymore about anything she said. Eve had asked him so many times why he had killed Sam. On September 17th, 2003 he decided if he just told her maybe she would finally hate him. He started to write the letter that would finally put an end to all of Eve's endless searching for answers that could never justify his actions. He began to stroke the tip of his pencil to the paper as the memory materialized claiming his mind leaving a simple fool behind with his empty eyes staring down at the prison floor.  

Eve sat on the couch that rested against the wall in the master bedroom that at the time had been Julie's room. Matt sat a few feet away from her in a folding chair babbling about anything he could to keep the conversation going with her. Eve invited Matt to accompany her outside to share a cigarette, with a smile of relief he agreed. Once finished they returned to the bedroom. This time they sat closer together with a small table between them. With a quick gesture he presented the deck of cards.

"Would you like me to tell you your future?"

he asked displaying a smile as cheesy as the idea that he could actually predict her future with playing cards.  His eyebrows shot up and down in a rhythm that prevented Eve from repressing the grin that surfaced mimicking  his own.

"You guys are ******* stupid."

The sound of Julie's voice penetrated the invisible bubble that had been cast by their foolish adolescence. Julie's laughter left their cheeks warm with embarrassment silencing their emotions. They both awkwardly searched the room unwilling to make eye contact. Matt combed through his hair with his hand resurrecting the nerve to look up at her with those lost eyes she enjoyed so much. When his nerve remained steady he spoke,

"Let's go to the living-room?"

She couldn't help but smile. Still flushed she eagerly agreed, happy to get away from Julie and the others in the bedroom. He carried the little table while she carried the folding chair following him to the living-room. They positioned the chair and table in front of the recliner where he sat across from her. He began to shuffle the cards telling her,

"I'm serious, i can read your future with these cards. Just ask me any question you wanna know about. Then pick a card from the deck and i'll answer it."

Knowing he was completely full of ****, once again, she smiled at him. He laid the cards out on the table spreading them out for her.

"Go on, ask. Pick one."

he said with a serious look that changed into a cocky grin. She leaned forward in her chair relaxing the muscles in her face. She brought her hand up allowing her chin to rest between her index finger and thumb then she squinted her eyes at the cards as she said,

"Hmmm... let me think.

When she knew what question to ask she spoke. While asking her question she released her chin pointing her index finger up towards the ceiling then at him. When she finished her sentence she placed her hand  on her lap.

Oh I know! Remember when I told you that I love to write?"

He swallowed hard and admitted,

"Yeah, I remember."

"Well, my question is, will i ever write a book?"

She folded her arms across her chest cocking her head to the side then lifting a brow at him waiting with anticipation for the answer to her question. His eyes widened and he inhaled deeply telling her in a flat tone,

"Pick a card".

She hovered her hand over the cards, scanning back and forth stopping in the center she pulled the card up handing it to him. He took it from her turning it over onto the table. He placed both arms on the table leaning down towards the table to studying the card. He then looked up at her with amazement and said,

"Oh this is interesting."

Her eyes brightened letting laughter fill the air around them.  

'Yeah? Tell me. What do you see?"

"Hold on. There's more."

He looked back down at the card. He began to tap his fingers on the table taking his time to respond.

"Okay, I think I got it all. You will write a book. As a matter of fact, you'll write more than one. You actually become quite good at writing. I can tell just by looking at this one card."

"Huh, is that right? And does the card tell you what i'm going to write about?"

"Yes, it does. But i think i'll let that be a mystery."

They both laughed. Matt crashed into reality as her laughter faded in his mind. He stared down at the blank piece of paper. Finally he began to write the letter he had been advised by his lawyer and his conscience not to write.

Eve,
  

Hello. uh, ****. I thought about writing this letter so many times and now that it's time, I can't figure out what I should say. I guess I should start out apologizing, but i won't.  There's no point in me saying I'm sorry because no matter how many times I say it, it will never be enough. And you don't have to apologize for taking a long time to write because in my mind it is truly a blessing to have ever gotten a letter from you, given the circumstances.  And i won't be getting my high school diploma because I got kicked out of the program. They kicked me out for no reason. I'm out with the adults now which is cool. I haven't gone to my unit yet because I'm in the hole and i get out the day after tomorrow, Friday the 19th. Well, since you asked, I've been in here being a hell raising down *** ***** ***** trying to make it seem as though I'm not scared of being locked in a cage with the rest of these murderers, thief's, **** o's and other type of bad guys. But I guess I'm one of them now. I'm not really that scared anymore. I got some nice size arms from doing push ups and I'm an okay fighter. I'm a real troublesome inmate. I've spent like 10 months in the hole in total. But before I continue let me say what I got to say. You've asked me in county jail and many other times so here it is... o.k. you Julie, Amanda, Jeff and Jake left somewhere and I was in my room with Sam. Sam starts crying like hell and I finally get him to stop so me and him are chilling, thinking where the hell you are and Amanda pops her head in the door then leaves. Sam probably thought it was you and he starts screaming and then i started to think about how someone stole my money, my cigarettes, most of my beers, screaming, my mom accuses me of stealing gum, ritain pills, ****, and robbing Katie's house, screaming, you treat me like I'm for you to use when your feel like it, broke one of my speakers, Derek comes out of no where and you love him, screaming, I don't got no money, probation officer never leaves me alone, radio is ****** up, school *****, about to go juvie for a ***** U.A.  All of those thoughts came to me at once and the next thing i know I'm watching me lift Sam by his neck, throw him on the bed and start punching him in the chest. I tried to stop myself but I was moving in slow motion while I'm punching as hard and as fast as I can and then i stopped.

Matt stopped reading the letter unable to relive the memory any further. He folded it and placed it  in the already addressed envelope.