falling to pieces does not make you a victim falling to pieces takes courage
'lashing out' (as you called it), at what they did or didn't do, or said or didn't say, or thought or didn't think, or whatever you expected and didn't get, does.
and you wear victimhood like a seething samurai's honed sword raining relentless, remorseless flesh wounds of projected guilt
grasping to the hilt the illusion that your self-satisfying slashes are self inflicted suicides