I was raised with one hand
firmly gripping my neck.
Not enough to choke,
but just enough to scare.
One wrong move and
He could snap my neck.
One split second of insubordination-
And death.
He occasionally squeezed too hard-
blamed it on his stress.
Gasping for air is the only
Memory I have of him.

No abuse to report,
No marks or scars except the ones on my heart.
I cried alone at night so
No one could hear.
I smiled through the pain
and hid every tear.
Threats were daily and
Love disappeared.
The child I was,
No longer appeared.

Each year I grew older,
His grip would tighten.
Shackling me to his commands and
Endless profanities.
I was told to toughen up,
But my heart was wilder than he could tame.

Shorter breaths and more tears-
Years and years of silence.
Waiting for the perfect time
To stand up and say,
"Good riddance"

Every day it gets closer now,

To the day I'll break his hands.