.....
I woke this morning
feeling not
like I did last night.


Last night


I felt something touch my
heart,


deep down to my very soul,



causing my spirit to
question what it too started to feel.


You've captivated me,



How did I lose track of what's
important?


Never can


I Say I played so falsely  
with someones better half,


but now


He's the better half of me,



Unlike a concubine or wife



I- as his mistress



have no


legal rights & relationship
to this man



I call mines.


It was fine,


Now I'm conflicted,
tormented,



I regret nothing then again it's
a lie
I regret he's not fully in my life.


A little bit of me dies away
leaving an empty shell,


Where I was once lived hearty
and well,


Now


With out him is something I
might have to face,


It's like I'm racing trying to
beat time,


while trying
to


continuously make him mines,
make
him realize


He needs me by his side.



How do I
compete


Yeah he says


I'll never have to,



Funny


thou
I feel as if I am
and
been doing so.


I got to give up and let nature
take its course.


Every-time


we're together our love making
gets better and better,


He never has to direct me nor I
him,


It's like we were meant, made
for one another


yet
here I am not his girl just
his lover.


I feel sadden when we
part,


Like he's taking away my heart.



I know when he's
home,


Oh how


I hope
it's about the
children and not "her" his babies mom.


But I'd be fool in thinking she
wasn't getting everything like me,


I'd be fool in wishing that
she'd leave,


She knows what a great man
she's
got
even if all she may ever be is just good enough.
While He professes I'm his greatest love,
He says
I'm his true love.
I doubt  his words& my guiltys setting in.


We conversed on so many levels
sharing more than what's ******


Yet I feel at times like he's
evasive,


Avoiding questions,
Changing
things,
Pleasing me isn't the problem.


It's when I'm not around
him,


I want to monopolize
all his
time
when he's not with the children or his
"wife"


I want him to give her up
but
How
can I say I had enough,
When in reality,


We just began to love- each
other,


I wonder would
he,


Tell her he's loving me,
Would
he speak on how he's in love with me?
Would he let her know


He's for now going to keep
seeing me,


Being with me?
Would he let
her know all the thing's we

DO?


Tell her how I move to his
groove,


Let her know
I'm important too,
to him,


I'm more than a friend?
Even
if


she doesn't ask will he man up
and let her know all
that?


Tell her


He's got deeper feelings and



that


"YES"


what we me and him have does
mean something?
Or


will he keep hiding me,
denying
me,


Make up
excuses for what we be
****?
I wounder  


if she knows


who I am
at times
cuz
I think no women is
stupid,


or so naive.


I'm sure she
guesses


but does she
question?


Why am I so fascinated with
her.


Because


She has everything I
want


and


at this point I find it ****
near impossible to keep holding on.


No strings my *** I'm wrapping
ropes around Him ,


Yeah
You.


I love more than the
physical,


I like our
talks,


Love when  we go walking
hand&han;;,


To a movie or 2
wouldn't be bad
again,


Out to eat and I love how you
hold me as I fall asleep,


I love how You kiss my eyelids
& how you wipe away my  tears,


As well as when you rock me
slowly to your body,


Letting me run my nails all
over you,


I crave more
thou.


That's where all my problems
come into light.
I can't settle for being second
I have to say Good-Bye
& Do
Something So
Completely
DIFFERENT!
Always Me Ayeshah
©1977-2010 Ayeshah
(A.K.K.C.L.N)
All rights
reserved