I don't know when or why but it happened.
And I'm sorry it did.
I don't know what not struggling looks like.
I don't know how it feels for all my hard work to pay off.
I know how it feels to succeed.
It's the best feeling but it goes away the next day.
There is nothing I can do about it.
You know sometimes I wish I was just lazy.
I know it sounds stupid but if I was just lazy I could fix it.
But I can't fix my chemically unbalanced brain.
One day maybe things will work themselves out.
But until then I will take my medication three times a day.
Hoping it will change things but it never really changes shit.
It helps but it doesn't make things better.
I think it's the failure and the worry the makes it hurt.
The worry of graduating and getting into college. I think that's what makes it hurt the most