1/

you stink like ***.
your throat attracts flies.

your belly sounds like toilet.
you talk like the flush--the best thing, actually.

just nothing beautiful about being alive, you said, you were so sure.

you never liked anything beautiful.
you never really liked yourself.

2/

morning. you wake up knowing exactly how it is to be ****.
you brush your teeth only for politeness.

you make friends but you make sure they smell what's inside.
day passes. optical illusion frustrates you.
your mirror frustrates you. pretend not to care.
you eat like a moth. quiet and frightened.
kindness and affection frustrate you.

3/

night. stomach, empty. you eat sadness.
at least what you can't feel, you can taste.