Sometimes it seems

that my best memories

and my worst memories

are the same.

But how can I miss

all those times that I lived

through such darkness and pain?

It feels so stupid to say

that I want to go back

when at the time it felt like I was in hell.

But am I really any better off

now than I was then?

Sometimes it can be so hard to tell.

I think back on all

these events from my past

and I wish that they were happening now.

My life today

seems much worse by comparison,

and I just don’t understand how.

When I know that back then

I was far more unhappy

and I had every reason to be,

and my brain tells me now

every aspect of life

has only gotten better for me.

Why do I miss people

I never liked in the first place

and want to do things I hated to do?

I can’t seem to accept

that things are better today

although I know for a fact it is true.

When I think of the past

I always feel longing

for that time that I can’t help but miss.

When I feel sorrow for what I have lost,

I must remember to tell myself this.

“These thoughts are not true,

and this feeling is false

it is just a cruel trick of the mind

the path laid before you

is never as lovely

as the one that you left behind.”