Drunken thoughts.
Not too late at night but just when the party starts.
I'm reminded of how much I used to be in love.
But this saddens me.
I know now that it was partially a sham.
False hopes and dreams were hidden in the silence you never spoke of.
Fantasies of what this future would be like with you by my side, but all I see is the ghost of you in my memories.
You guys don't understand how longingly wrenching it is to realize you never had the same intentions and dreams as I.
That you never spoke of your dreams because you knew they would break my heart.
Here we are, me wondering if things were as passionate for you as they were for me.
If all those sayings, words, and feelings, were just spoken to give you something before you actually left.
If I was kept around to be strung out until the end giving you everything you knew I would have.
I was so in love with you.
You knew it too.
You knew I would have stayed by your side until you told me to leave.
That even if I had known the truth of your unwanting, I still would have loved you with the darkened heart I owned.
Turned dark for you.
Left as the one who was emotionally attached by love for you.
You left as the one physically attached to me, body langauge proving to be the only thing you miss.
Maybe you miss my smile, maybe you miss my beauty.
Maybe you miss the ***.
But I miss the emotional attachment of my once best friend.
The one who talked about my dreams with me.
The one who held me as I cried about losing you.
The one who told me to look to our star when I feared of never seeing you again.
But not once did you understand what you were putting me through.
You left and I doubt you ever felt bad about leaving me.
Because I could never do that to you and then cut you out of my life like it was nothing.
Maybe I still love you.