I’ve already got it all planned
Out so you won’t have to bother
I’ve been patiently waiting
For the hour

It’ll be something
Like this

(Follow all instructions correctly,
please)

You’ll meet
Another girl
I’ll let her
Be prettier
And even smarter
Funnier and taller
But she
Can’t be better
At giving head
No
Not that

You’ll stop
Replying
My texts
I’ll wonder why
But I’m too proud
To ask anything
Until I see
Your new
Facebook status

“The boy you’re in love with
Is in a very serious
Respectable
Stable
And most importantly
In-person
Relationship
With a girl
Who’s prettier
Smarter
Funnier and taller
But she isn’t better
At giving head
No
Not that”