Feb 2010
Why do I answer or even text,
Why do I pay any attention to you at all?
Must be the way you talk or how you write,
must be I'm loosing my mind,
"I love you" ,
YOU
keep saying,
But
if this is love then please take it away,
I don't want to feel a thing,
In time I know in time
I'll heal,
start to feel again,
Start to live again but right now,
Right now I just can't.
Can't seem to make it,
can't seem to take it,
Can't strive for better,
But I smile to myself,
for the memories.
I need to do this,
and
On my own for now or until eternity
If that's what it takes for me to find
a semblances of peace.
I know you say it's killing you
cuz
I moved away,
But it was
killing me to stay,
I had to let go
and
be as free from you
as I could be,
I loved you and was there,
In love but was it real?
Still love you and that's what scares
the hell out of me,
Cuz
You've always be free
unlike me,
I still even now wont talk to anyone
and
still wont let anyone
touch what
I still consider yours.
You love me thou huh?
Funny thing about that word
love,
I can't say it wasn't
but
If this is
Love,
I no longer want it.
I no longer want to hold my pillow tight and cry for you,
No longer do I want to wake up reaching out for you,
No longer do I want to carry your seed,
No longer do I want these hurtful memories,
How do I let go,
Tell me?
If it's so easy
How
about you show me,
Prove it!
You said you'd never hurt me,
Never let me go,
You said I was yours,
Your world,
You lady,
Your Queen,
So who
wears the crown now,
Who'll
hold you down when your tormented and
Your own demon's
come kicking and screaming??
You gave me your world ,
Forever & never,
I guess
"Never"
was the other day,
But wait
you fail to see or understand,
You
can't take back what's been done,
My Yesterday's
will forever be like foot prints in the sand,
Naw
like footprints forever in concrete,
You were my happy ending,
Tragically
for me it ended not as planned,
It's what's best you say
I gave you too much advise
and
Now look at me,
Look really hard & good,
Can you get glue,
nail's and a bunch of other stuff,
Rebuild what you broke,
Open up and sew up my soul,
Mend this broken heart
and
recapture what onces was,
give back to my eyes that held you captivated,
that special spark?
Look at me now
and
You'll
see someone so completely different!
So unlike me
am I now,
easily I smiled,
My eyes lite up when You or anyone talked,
You could tell my thoughts,
Friends read me some times like a book,
You claimed
it was all in my eyes which never lied,
You said this and so many things,
Like You knew you were in love with me,
You knew I was forever yours,
Always would We be like we once was,
You never promised but I wish now that
You would of
cuz
Promises
are meant to be Broken,
Like my heart has been by only you,
I would say many but
Honestly
I really believe that
for the first time for me
I finally fell in love,
Finally knew what it was,
But if this is love,
I don't want,
I wont own it,
I rather just leave it alone,
Give it back the same way
you let me go,
easyily.
Never was pose to mean so much,
like how you touched me
and
went down on me,
staying there on me
for hours,
Like when
you kissed my eyes
and
looked right in to my soul,
or
how about
when you made love to me
and
called out my name
over and over again as you
professed your un-dying love for me,
and Yes
when you thought I wasn't looking,
I saw tears well up in your eyes,
and
as I held you so many times,
I wipe your eyes as you cried,
I talked to you and planned a life with you,
Why
was I so blind?
You had your cake and ate it too,
Ate it **** good,
but
what's now,
How come I had to lose,
Lost so much already
and
I think you love what's growing in my belly,
Never
was it me
just the lady you meet on Feb 20th 09,
Yeah
she was a queen and her light shined so bright,
Her face
lite up as you open doors
and
pulled out chairs.
Playing the perfect gentlemen.
As
you helped her to your car
excuses me
your suburban!
Un-dying love how funny that sounds and
yet I'm here still breathing
and
haven't died yet
even thou I feel so much like I did.
**** IT,
If this is LOVE
I Don't Want IT!
Always Me Ayeshah
©1977-2009
Ayeshah(A.K.K.C.L.N)
All rights reserved
Why do I pay any attention to you at all?
Must be the way you talk or how you write,
must be I'm loosing my mind,
"I love you" ,
YOU
keep saying,
But
if this is love then please take it away,
I don't want to feel a thing,
In time I know in time
I'll heal,
start to feel again,
Start to live again but right now,
Right now I just can't.
Can't seem to make it,
can't seem to take it,
Can't strive for better,
But I smile to myself,
for the memories.
I need to do this,
and
On my own for now or until eternity
If that's what it takes for me to find
a semblances of peace.
I know you say it's killing you
cuz
I moved away,
But it was
killing me to stay,
I had to let go
and
be as free from you
as I could be,
I loved you and was there,
In love but was it real?
Still love you and that's what scares
the hell out of me,
Cuz
You've always be free
unlike me,
I still even now wont talk to anyone
and
still wont let anyone
touch what
I still consider yours.
You love me thou huh?
Funny thing about that word
love,
I can't say it wasn't
but
If this is
Love,
I no longer want it.
I no longer want to hold my pillow tight and cry for you,
No longer do I want to wake up reaching out for you,
No longer do I want to carry your seed,
No longer do I want these hurtful memories,
How do I let go,
Tell me?
If it's so easy
How
about you show me,
Prove it!
You said you'd never hurt me,
Never let me go,
You said I was yours,
Your world,
You lady,
Your Queen,
So who
wears the crown now,
Who'll
hold you down when your tormented and
Your own demon's
come kicking and screaming??
You gave me your world ,
Forever & never,
I guess
"Never"
was the other day,
But wait
you fail to see or understand,
You
can't take back what's been done,
My Yesterday's
will forever be like foot prints in the sand,
Naw
like footprints forever in concrete,
You were my happy ending,
Tragically
for me it ended not as planned,
It's what's best you say
I gave you too much advise
and
Now look at me,
Look really hard & good,
Can you get glue,
nail's and a bunch of other stuff,
Rebuild what you broke,
Open up and sew up my soul,
Mend this broken heart
and
recapture what onces was,
give back to my eyes that held you captivated,
that special spark?
Look at me now
and
You'll
see someone so completely different!
So unlike me
am I now,
easily I smiled,
My eyes lite up when You or anyone talked,
You could tell my thoughts,
Friends read me some times like a book,
You claimed
it was all in my eyes which never lied,
You said this and so many things,
Like You knew you were in love with me,
You knew I was forever yours,
Always would We be like we once was,
You never promised but I wish now that
You would of
cuz
Promises
are meant to be Broken,
Like my heart has been by only you,
I would say many but
Honestly
I really believe that
for the first time for me
I finally fell in love,
Finally knew what it was,
But if this is love,
I don't want,
I wont own it,
I rather just leave it alone,
Give it back the same way
you let me go,
easyily.
Never was pose to mean so much,
like how you touched me
and
went down on me,
staying there on me
for hours,
Like when
you kissed my eyes
and
looked right in to my soul,
or
how about
when you made love to me
and
called out my name
over and over again as you
professed your un-dying love for me,
and Yes
when you thought I wasn't looking,
I saw tears well up in your eyes,
and
as I held you so many times,
I wipe your eyes as you cried,
I talked to you and planned a life with you,
Why
was I so blind?
You had your cake and ate it too,
Ate it **** good,
but
what's now,
How come I had to lose,
Lost so much already
and
I think you love what's growing in my belly,
Never
was it me
just the lady you meet on Feb 20th 09,
Yeah
she was a queen and her light shined so bright,
Her face
lite up as you open doors
and
pulled out chairs.
Playing the perfect gentlemen.
As
you helped her to your car
excuses me
your suburban!
Un-dying love how funny that sounds and
yet I'm here still breathing
and
haven't died yet
even thou I feel so much like I did.
**** IT,
If this is LOVE
I Don't Want IT!
Always Me Ayeshah
©1977-2009
Ayeshah(A.K.K.C.L.N)
All rights reserved
