the bottomless pit within
fills me to the brim
but i’m still so empty

a sky full of stars
or an elevator
packed with hot bodies
it doesn’t matter
the nights are still lonely

the people i loosely call friends
always tell me i’m never alone
i try to tell them
my self-reliance is not the problem
but we’re not even reading
the same book

keep your thoughts to yourself
do not speak to me
do not sympathize
i am desperate
but not for your acceptance

let me be as i’ve been
it will always be this way
i’m used to the empty feeling
nothing gold can stay

i can’t speak for frost
i can’t confirm his notion
i’ve never held anything golden
other than you

but my palms
they weren’t large enough
and my heart
dedicated to you
too many of its beats

i scare everyone away
and those who don’t run
i push until they walk
i don’t want company
unless it’s yours
and i will never have that

i try to fill your shadow
but nothing is so priceless
alcohol makes me mourn
sleep does not console

violent silence
it pushes me to the ledge
the thoughts beckon
we’ve been through this before
why do i hesitate