Why does it hurt so much,
to be happy?
Why do I have to work so hard,
for the slightest bit of satisfaction,
only to feel sadness and emptiness
creep back slowly invading every nook and cranny
in my mind?
Why can't happiness be the default feeling,
instead of the exception or a surprise?
Why is the depressive loneliness
the natural condition?
Why do I still feel alone
no matter how many people I surround myself?
Why can't I explain
its not their fault,
that I'm just unable to maintain happiness?
Why do they take it
so personally?
Why can't I just shut up,
so at least they won't worry,
won't feel bad, guilty?
Why am I
so selfish as to rob them of their potential happiness?
Why?