Saying I love you just hurts its a void that can't be filled within me because inadequacy has made me numb again it has made you numb again. So I settle for never being yours- I settle for the freedom you have mapped out in your veins they travel through your skin like roads you have yet to take and I wonder if you will bring me with you.. But I already know the answer- love is never enough to rid of these worries you carry with you like luggage and I am the worst kind of baggage. People search a lifetime for a love like this I have searched for 18 years trying to convince myself it is real but I have discovered just like everything else it is eventually masked by the pain and thrown away for self-preservation. I am too selfless maybe it's because I have little self worth- spending too much time making sure others do not feel the pain I do but when it does come this pain of mine- no one knows how to react they stand there because this is not what they expected. Leave me be if you must- wander to places you will never see follow the roadmap inside your arms and the signs within your eyes. I will never be fine but I was this way before you traveled through me. I was just a destination you had to reach- another point on your map. You always knew you weren't gonna stay and I guess I was the last to know.