I'm so tired of the *******. I'm so tired of always allowing myself to fall for the same nonsense. So I blame myself, myself for giving my heart up so easy every single time. I promise I'm a smart individual. I just lack intelligence on love. Then again, no one masters the art of love. Still, I can't make up excuses. It takes two, me as well as you. My vains pump hurt to my heart. My brain bleeds depression. My body is weak from crying night after night. All I want is to be in love with someone who values me as much as I do them. How am I dead yet alive? How do I continue to smile when i have nothing to smile for? I can't imagine what I could have done to be the ground you walk on. I can't imagine what I've done to make you want to hurt me. I just can't imagine. My tears are now frustration. My love is now hate. My life is no longer mine. I'm so lost that I can even find myself. Distraught and buried alive by my own heart. I've failed myself. I gave one too many chances. Never allowing myself to learn that chances do multiply. I'm sorry. I apologize not to you for losing me. But to myself who I've let down once too many. I'm sorry.