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Aug 2015
When you can't risk another nightmare
When you can't risk a look back at what you used to be
When you're the devil's very heir
And you're pretending to be blind when you really can see

When you can't look back on your past
When everything you remember hurts
You just can't hold this stance
And every time you look back, your stomach gives a lurch

When you're stuck doing punishment
And you don't even know what for
When your whole life is made up of lies and sins
And the one you loved slammed the door

When everything little day passing by
Is a shard of glass in your skin
And by some means, you wish you could die
Because you know you'll never win

The very day when you know it just can't go on
You've sank to your knees
But, oh darling, no one will think of your brawn
And I'm sorry, but no one can hear your tortured pleas and screams
That are haunting...every day, every second, every dream

Now those dreams will come alive
To shatter you so
You wonder how you've managed to survive
You're broken inside, I've been told

Wish you could rest, you tortured soul
Wish you could live to see the light
But it's kind of hard when you have no role
In your bitter, twisted life

Wish you could end it all, your life
One quick stab, or a shot, or a swallow
Maybe several stabs with a knife
Or slowly and painfully, in the gallows
It all ends on All Hallow's

You wish you could die, but you can't
Because you've grown to like the pain
You don't think they'd understand
That you've gone completely insane

Another loved one lost to you
Another fist closing over you heart
This mourning thing, you must be new to
Because it's tearing you, a shell, apart

There's nothing left inside you now
Not a heart, or a brain, or a mind
It might be a good time to tell you how
The sanity you lost, you'll never find

That first death affected you deeply
Got well under your skin
You were way past weeping
Your life being torn apart by the skin

The darkness is no longer chilling
As it bites and it tears and it calls
The fear it used to, is not instilling
And nothing ever frightens or appalls

You are alone in your room
Just with the moon for company and light
You might as well be in your own tomb
Because you've lost your sense of mind

Beer bottles litter the floor
But they've been there
Way before
When your soul was new and repaired

No one can hear you
Don't even shout
No one can save you
Because no amount

Can fix you
Save you
Heal you

And the nightmares come alive in the night
Once more to predict your blight

Another lonely night alone with yourself in your brain
For, drunken with loss, you've gone absolutely insane
Xphaedos
Written by
Xphaedos
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   Xphaedos
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