he was going to teach me how to pick a lock and hot wire a car but he went back to prison I swear, he had a good heart he was just livin’ the life he knew
adopted in infancy an idyllic ranch life going out barefoot and shirtless in the snow to feed the horses still, divorce happens his mother got custody but blanked out in permissiveness allowing him whatever she wanted to play good cop as divorced parents sometimes do he would disappear for a week communing in the canyons; survival skills drinking water by the rocks checking jack rabbits for spots “everything is seasonal” he would tell me when his mother remarried a drunkard my friend would don dark clothing and a ski mask to rob his drunken step dad every payday to put food on the table you see, he had a good heart just livin’ the life he knew
leading a life of drugs and not just using he could drink his stuff but also liked Perrier a life of crime store front window smash and grabs in stolen cars getting involved with big time dealers still, I swear he had a good heart just livin’ the life he knew
once asked him why he never offered me drugs “Why would I?” he replied you see, a friend would never do that he would jump up and say, “No!” if I pretended to reach for a cigarette --a regular cigarette he knew well their addictive nature knew his lungs were tweeked and didn’t want me to ruin my voice I had a beautiful voice he had a good heart just livin’ the life he knew
sent to the fire camps up north in his element in the woods at peace with himself out in nature knowledgeable, skillful, personable upon release they told him "stay clean till November" he would have a job waiting for him he had a good heart but went back to the life he knew
the last time in prison he “stuck” someone it scared him because this time he didn’t feel anything didn’t ask him what he meant we never talked about it again still, I swear he had a good heart just livin’ the life he knew
he was in the hospital last time we talked he knew he was dying his sister told me he was scared it’s been a long time but I think he was in his twenties a life of hard times a death in regret surely God knew he had a good heart he was just livin’ the life he knew