There was a time when I wanted someone to love so badly
I would stay up late at night imagining his face
I would fall in love with the imaginary words he would say to me
The graceful way his hands moved when he spoke
A very comforting laugh that made the world stop
I knew someday that he would stroll into my life, if I thought about it long enough
Convinced that he was out there dreaming me up, we'd be together soon
I wanted a man with deep thought, a warm and large heart
Someone that would sing along with me, and be silent with me
Knowing when to do each would be the difficult part
But not for him - he would know me right away.
We would laugh at how long it took us to find one another
We had been so close for so long, how did we not see it?
This man, this imaginary person that I have loved since my youth
He has not come.
I have been fooled thinking that he is alive in many others
Eventually though my heart is betrayed and I see that it's not him.
His shape and demeanor has changed over the years.
I fear that I have altered this man so much that he is no longer capable of being real.
If he is though, I'll find him eventually.