i am looking for words to make me speak again.
being stuck unlistened, and chastened to my own,
your own thoughts, has me forgetting how loud
i can yell. Your name
means nothing to me— that's a lie. But I can't be close
to it. Don't worry it's a "that thing and mean" kind of
hate, where that thing is the only thing i think
about. you, you were once so significant, and now
you are depleted to ash with all your hate for me
and mine for you.

at least it makes something, writing