This is my ode to the nation I hate. Gluttons for war. Haters of women. Priced out and maxed out and imprisoned and impoverished.

Here's to the wide open spaces that make my heart sing and my soul fly as I ****** the earth in a two-ton death trap waiting to ensnare me. Here's to the freedom to spit on the homeless; accuse the downtrodden; shoot the black. Here's to limitless dreams forged in minds that don't know any better.

God bless the open road. God bless each and every freedom we ignore. God bless the Dow and our hopes of a better life.